Gay Dating 101: Love Yourself First

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“If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you’re gonna love somebody else?” – RuPaul

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Happy self-loving!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com

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Accepting It’s Over – Breaking Up and Moving On

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No matter how many times we experience breaking up with someone, it can still hurt and threaten to overturn our lives.

It can be extremely frustrating when a breakup is difficult to manage – even when we know the relationship is not right for one, or both, of the parties involved.  Losing a relationship can evoke multitudes of uncomfortable emotions.  One may feel embarrassed or hurt and wonder if he is not “good enough”, while simultaneously missing the guy who is instigating the uncomfortable feelings.  Another, sometimes overlooked, reason that breakups hurt so much is that as the relationship dissolves – our own sense of self can dissolve along with it.

It is a wonderful process when you are building closeness and trust with someone, it can also make your feelings at the end of the relationship even more confusing and painful.  A 2010 research study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin finds that breakups cause a change in our self-concept, which can elicit a lack of clarity in our knowledge of ourselves.  Furthermore, when we do not have a clear concept of ourselves, such as in the aftermath of a breakup, it leads to further emotional grief.

Reassessing ourselves after a breakup is a major component to finding closure and becoming healthy again for the next relationship while developing an even stronger and renewed sense of self.  To begin the process of exiting one relationship and rebuilding your relationship with yourself, here are several tips.

Concentrate on yourself. Sever all ties with your ex – as much as you do not want to or think that it is not necessary. Block all electronic reminders – your ex’s number in your phone, if they are a Facebook friend or follow you on twitter, email accounts, etc. Also, clear out any other reminders around you: pictures, ticket stubs, gifts, etc.  Simply putting these things away for a while will help ease the pain of a new breakup, the cliché “out of sight, out of mind” does have merit!

Strive for acceptance of the breakup. Mourning the loss of a relationship is often necessary and “moping” around a bit is okay! Remembering why the relationship did not work out and the negative aspects of your ex-boyfriend can help bring closure. Express your feelings through art, writing, dancing, singing, whatever you enjoy that helps sort and soothe your emotions.  Just be sure to use this time to gain acceptance that the relationship has ended so that your mourning period can be brief and allow you to move on to reestablishing your individual sense of self.

Focus on your future. A tough breakup can also be an opportunity to reassess where you are in your life and where you want to go. Analyzing your self-concept as an individual instead of a couple can be the fresh start to revitalizing your expectations for yourself. Explore your priorities and determine if any have slipped while you were in a relationship. Perhaps you have not spent as much time with friends, exercising, participating in volunteer work or doing hobbies as you would like. Now is the time to take note of what is important to you and to DO these things you have been missing!

Utilize support from others. During a difficult breakup and after, surround yourself with friends and family who are on your side and will support you during this difficult time. Being with others can help you to realize that you are not alone and that you are valued by people besides your ex-boyfriend. Enlist others’ help to gain acceptance of your new single status as well as to assist you in gaining clarity and creating a positive new beginning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com

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A Gay Man’s Guide to Surviving a Big Break-up

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Breaking up is hard to do, but the few weeks after are even harder. Cutting things off with someone you treasured is heartbreaking, while keeping him around can keep one or both of you stuck in the relationship. Here, three popular options for dealing with your ex after a break-up, how they actually play out—and what they mean for your mental health.

 

Post-Breakup Strategy #1: The Cold Cut It’s a case of “out of sight, out of mind,” as you completely cut off communication.

A case history: “I was crushed when a guy I was dating for a year broke up with me and said he didn’t want to talk anymore,” says Jay, who works in finance in New York. “I was depressed and felt it was really unfair. But after a while, I did meet someone else. I know now I needed such a clean break, because it helped me move on. I didn’t have any false hopes—I just built myself back up.”

Why this strategy works: Sounds brutal, but it’s popular for a reason. “From a psychological perspective, this is the healthiest strategy, particularly if you’ve been cheated on,” says Joseph Taravella, Ph.D., a couple’s therapist at NYU Medical Center. Taravella says that it’s not an easy choice to stick to, but it pays off by letting you move on. He recommends asking your friends and family to help you stay busy—it’ll help you feel fulfilled and loved, which you need after a breakup. Staying in touch with your ex gives him the power to still hurt you, even if you’re not together—you may still reel when he has a new boyfriend or hold out hope that things will work out. “The patients who take the ‘clean break’ approach generally make faster adjustments and move forward with their lives,” says Taravella. “As a result, they tend to carry less baggage into their next relationship.”

 

Post-Breakup Strategy #2: The Friend Zone You’re not going to be lovers anymore, but you’ll try to be pals.

A case history: Ed, a writer in New York, has remained friends with his ex-boyfriend of six years, with whom he broke up a year ago. While he appreciates having his ex’s friendship, Ed admits that their emotional intimacy even now makes it hard for him to move on. “I can’t say it’s been easy,” he says. “He started dating two months after we broke up, and I didn’t. It’s not that I wish we were together, but it does get awkward when, say, he wants to bring his new boyfriend to dinner. I’ve vowed to spend a little more time apart from him so I can meet someone, too.”

Why this strategy works: It’s a nice idea, but Taravella warns against this strategy as a means of deluding yourself: “Many people do this when they still have feelings for the other person,” he says. “They hope that, over time, they’ll get back together. But if it didn’t work the first time around, it often won’t the second time.” Partners doing the dumping also like this because it helps them feel less guilty, but it keeps the dumpee hanging on. Still, it’s natural to want a place in your life for someone with whom you shared so much. Many exes find they can be friends—but only once they’ve both moved on so one doesn’t feel judged or rejected by the other person’s dating behaviors. “It generally it takes time for people to get to this place,” says Taravella. A better idea? Take a temporary no-plans-together break, then rebuild the friendship once you’re both comfortable with the relationship’s demise.

 

Post-Breakup Strategy #3: Exes With Benefits You’re no longer dating, but you still hook up sometimes.

A case history: “I broke up with my boyfriend six months ago, and we’ve been hooking up a couple of times a month since,” says Tim, who works in the entertainment business in Los Angeles. But what he thought was a no-strings attachment turned out to have several threads from their ruined relationship. “I met this new guy, and we started having sex, too. So I told my ex about it, and he got mad. He said I should have told him first. I didn’t know that was part of the deal. I’d think twice about sleeping with an ex again.”

Why this strategy works: Think you’re signing on for an easy booty call? Think again. One person’s mindless sex can be his partner’s proof that the love is alive. “Emotional attachments linger after breakups, and it’s difficult for many people to separate their feelings from sex,” says Taravella. “More times than not, one person is left feeling alone, abandoned, and hurt.” After all, if someone’s told you you’re not good enough to date, why settle for being only good enough to sleep with him? Not only does one person usually think the relationship’s still ongoing, but it makes it difficult for both of you when one person wants out—then you have to deal with another breakup. And it also doesn’t leave you free to date other people and begin sexual relationships with them without baggage. “Ex sex may satisfy certain ‘needs’ in the short-term, but it’s never a good idea,” says Taravella. Now that you know the pros and cons of these three common scenarios, you can proceed with the best chances of a full and speedy recovery should you have a breakup in the future.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com

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Gay Seattle Guide: Delicious Eats That Are Worth Every Penny

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Gay Seattle Guide: Emerald City is full of great places to eat and drink. Here’s a guide to all our favorite spots.

 

Top Chef, Anthony Bourdain, and Mario Batali are a few culinary biggies who’ve spotlighted the food scene in the Emerald City, known for its fresh seafood and many James Beard Award winners and nominees, from Tom Douglas to Ethan Stowell, who attract their own followers from around the country to their restaurants. Snacking is another thing locals do well, alternating between Cupcake Royale, Molly Moon’s (Homemade Ice Cream), Top Pot Doughnuts, KuKuRuZa (Gourmet Popcorn) and Theo Chocolate, all made in Seattle.

 

Canlis
2576 Aurora Avenue North
(206) 283-3313
A dining institution dating back to 1950, Canlis is that special restaurant for a birthday, anniversary, or any other celebratory moment you want to remember. For visitors, especially self-proclaimed foodies, it’s one to check off your bucket list. The 180-degree views of the skyline, Lake Union and Cascade Mountains are precious, while the menu featuring traditional meat and seafood entrees is sensational. The Canlis, the family that has owned and operated the place since it opened, were profiled on season 10 episode 4 of the Emmy-winning series, Top Chef.

 How to Cook a Wolf
2208 Queen Anne Avenue North
(206) 838-8090
James Beard Award nominee Ethan Stowell, brother of former professional ballet dancer Christopher Stowell, owns restaurants througout the Emerald City, including this Upper Queen Anne eatery known for its rustic Italian and Mediterranean-influenced small plates with seasonal ingredients. No-frills dishes, like grilled baby octopus and bruschetta with smoked salmon, are absolutely delicious, yet even better are the handmade pastas, particularly the gnochi topped with beef cheek bolognese, oregano, mint and parmigiano-reggiano.

Cafe Campagne
1600 Post Alley
(206) 728-2233
Billing itself as “The Heart of France in the heart of Seattle,” this charming bistro is the perfect spot to feast on escargots, steak frites, quiche, croque monsieur, roasted half chicken and anything else you’ve had (or dream of having) at a rustic Southern French cafe. La Campagne serves breakfast, lunch, dinner, and weekend brunch, as well as an excellent list of wines from the Bordeaux, Rhone, and Loire Valley regions.

Joule
3506 Stone Way North
(206) 632-5685
Now relocated in Fremont, previously in Wallingford, this well reviewed Korean-fusion restaurant offers such sumptuous choices as black rice risotto, spicy rice cake, kalbi burger, smoked tofu, and mackerel served alongside green curry cilantro chimichurri and black currant. Don’t plan on skipping dessert, not when a milk chocolate mousse with sesame cake, miso caramel, and peanut is up for grabs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com

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Take The Hit: Getting Over Your Fear of Rejection

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Rejection hurts, but it’s the ‘fear’ of rejection that makes it hurt worse. If you want more dating success, you have to learn to take the hit.

 

For some reason, single gay men everywhere are becoming less confident about making the first move when they see an attractive man giving them the eye. But what truly is the cause?

For a lot of guys in the gay community, it’s hard to compete when there’s so many hot people around. Often times we think we’re not good enough or are afraid of embarrassing ourselves. After all, “keeping it cool” is a major strategy we use when trying to make a good impression. But the truth of the matter is, these fears are only imaginary voices inside our heads. Many times, they’ve been created by either our own insecurities or unfortunate incidents we have yet to heal from.

In order for you to rid yourself of this habit, it’s crucial to give yourself a life review. Go for a walk. Try to remember as far back as you can. Be the detective in tracking down the root of the cause. Once you’re staring at it directly in the face, it becomes much less existent in your life. Trust me, the first step is to find and uncover your own diagnosis. Here’s a few points that might help you along the way:

Rejection Only Hurts as Much as You Allow it to

Here’s why rejection hurts so much: it’s because you give it meaning. You give it power to affect you because you decide how important it is to you. How much rejection hurts is directly proportional to how much emotional investment you have in that rejection.

The “Voices” In Your Head

Insecurity and fear manifest themselves through voices in our head. “He’s totally out of my league” or “He probably has a boyfriend” or “He’d never be interested” or “What if he thinks I’m pathetic?” are all common statements we typically tell ourselves, either consciously or subconsciously.

Many times these voices feel different, sound different, and appear at different times. This is because they’re spawned from different memories within your life, and each circumstance you’re in is probably reflective of that associated trauma. Take it as a hint. Somewhere down the road, have you been tricked into thinking that most attractive guys are out of your league? Does something about this moment feel like déjà vu? Use this as an attempt to find the root of the problem.

These voices inside our head aren’t just holding us back from meeting a potential mate, they also can act as a great tool in deciding if someone’s worth the effort. Knowing that these voices are hidden insecurities and fear, imagine the feeling you get when someone is constantly saying to you, “You’re out of my league.” This, reversely, is how you would appear to them.

“Rejection” Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Good Enough

First of all, let’s stop saying the word “rejection.” The definition of such a word means that someone discards or throws away something that isn’t up to their standards. Overtime, this way of thinking is obviously going to affect our self-worth.

Just because someone says no or is distant from your flirting efforts does not mean that you’re ugly, unworthy, or not good enough. Think about the psychology of it all. People listen to their intuition when they make these kinds of decisions. When someone is obviously detached from making any connection, no matter how hard you think you need to try, it’s really all up to them. So really, it’s their issue. Not yours.

People nowadays aren’t open to find love and are even less open when the opportunity presents itself. Just because someone isn’t making themselves available does not mean it’s your fault. They’re obviously being held down by their own issues. Instead, see it as an opportunity to be proud of yourself for making the move.

Not Everyone You See Is Your Future Husband

Another reason why we tend to beat ourselves up is because we throw all our eggs in one basket. We get so anxious before approaching people that before we even know their name, we’re already picking wedding dates. It’s unlikely the person you approach is as perfect as you think. Remember, they also go to the bathroom just like you – and it’s not pretty.

When you’re not trying, you are less nervous and more able to be yourself. Insecurity is smelled in the air when you’re around more confident people. And simply due to the fact that you’re the one initiating the flirting, the person you’re talking to will naturally be “more confident” just because they have less pressure at that given moment. This makes your desperation more potent. Never let the fear of rejection overshadow your genuine self.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Tweet us: twitter.com/GayDating101

Long-Distance Relationships: Your Survival Guide

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“Maybe we can make this work! Maybe we can have a long-distance relationship that lasts until our separate lives collide and we can live in eternal bliss, together.” — If you have said this before, you might have actually found the one or you are really just in love with each other that distance doesn’t matter. Either way, here are a few tips to keeping it together:

  • Purchase cleaning wipes in bulk. Typing and Skyping with lubey fingers will only lead to damaged keys and smudged screens. You don’t want to explain to the Geek Squad why your laptop keeps sliding out of their hands — to say nothing of what can be found on your hard drive.
  • Don’t analyze every photo of him on Facebook. That image of your new beau being led around on a leash at the leather festival in the gimp mask and ball gag might be entirely innocent.
  • Encourage him to send erotic photos of himself, and be sure to return the favor. Agree that all photos will be deleted after they have been used for their “purpose.” Unless, that is, he is a member of GOProud, in which case, save them for later public humiliation. Consider these photos a bigger bus than the one he will eventually try to throw you under. (Sorry, I have issues with these people.)
  • Keep in mind that geographical separation is often accompanied by differences in time. Failure to consider this may result in unanticipated bitchiness. No one wants a call at 5 a.m. asking, “Whatcha doin’?” in a cutesy voice. It disturbs dreams of shagging Channing Tatum then stealing his shirts and will only lead to arguments later.
  • Never text when drunk, as autocorrect and predictive text can be a hazard. One inconvenient correction can be dismissed as a mistake, but sequential messages of “Bash your hard coal on my face,” and “I can’t wait to ride your coal again” don’t make sense, at best, and at worst, they make it look like you have some sort of fetish for Welsh miners.
  • Choose a tune that you consider “your song” to serve as a musical reminder of your love. Then immediately play it to death until the words lose all meaning. In 10 years, if all goes well, it could be your wedding song. But in the unfortunate event that the relationship has ended, when it comes over the speakers in Walmart, you can drop to the floor in dramatic fashion and weep about the one who got away. Then wait for the discounts from the empathetic sales staff.
  • Don’t get too irate when you can’t reach him. I know it’s hard not to assume the very worst when there has been no contact for more than 10 whole minutes, but chances are he’s busy. Or maybe he’s just at the park having a delightful picnic with an anchorman’s boyfriend. (I love you, Andy! Call me.)
  • Don’t let your single friends’ opinions drive you into thinking this won’t work. They will crucify you for not being available to go cruising with them. If they can’t find love, happiness, and companionship with a headless torso 236-plus feet away, who the hell are they to judge you?
  • The one who travels to the other should have first pick of position. It’s only polite and really should be universally observed gay etiquette.
  • Value the precious times you get to spend visiting the city he calls home. If you run into one of his ex-boyfriends while you’re out, remain calm, polite, and friendly. Resist the urge to scream, “He told me all about that thing you like to do, and I think you’re a freak!” You also won’t make yourself look good by pointing and calling anyone “Jack Nasty!”

Most importantly, despite all the challenges, your long-distance relationships will work if you want it to work. And if it doesn’t, well, you haven’t worked hard enough at it. Hopefully these useful tips will come in handy. Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Tweet us: twitter.com/GayDating101

Gay Houston Bar Guide

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WHATEVER YOUR SCENE, YOU’RE COVERED IN H-TOWN 

Visiting Houston and not sure which bars to hit up? Don’t worry, we’ve got this. One good thing about H-town is that there’s a scene for just about whatever you’re into. From stand-and-model to boot scootin’ honky tonk, here’s your personalized hit list for a good time.

DANCE FREAK. Feeling the need to shake it to the latest dance mixes? South Beach is regularly ranked among the top dance clubs in the city. And small wonder with the huge floor space and fantastic in-house DJ talent. For those looking for a more alternative dance scene, check out Blur Bar, where high-energy hip hop and Latin music rule. The second floor balcony is also a great perch for people watching on Pacific Street. 

SONG BIRD. Like to belt out Christina Aguilera like nobody’s business? Head to Guava Lamp on Wednesday and Sunday nights for a karaoke scene like no other. This hidden away video bar off Allen Parkway serves up strong drinks and a fabulous song selection. JR’s on the Pacific Street strip also does karaoke on Thursdays and Sundays. 

PRETTY BOY.  One of Houston’s newest hotspots, F Bar is where you’ll find a beautiful crowd, almost every night of the week. Of course Friday and Saturday nights are the most busy at this upscale, coastal chic lounge. Just down the street is Meteor, another spot where the local boys go to see and be seen. Whether it’s sipping cocktails in the side bar, watching videos and real-life action in the main club or catching up on gossip on the enclosed patio, there’s never a dull moment. Oh, and you’ll love the on-stage showers! 

PARTY GIRL. The top spot for ladies is Pearl Houston. This expansive club smack dab in the middle of Washington Ave. offers tons of big screen TVs to catch games as well as a large outdoor patio complete with fun games and plenty of seating. Multiple bars, darts and much more await at the Pearl. 

URBAN COWBOY. If your idea of a good time is two-steppin’ and shooting pool, we have the perfect spot. Neon Boots is Texas’ largest gay country bar — more than 10,000 square feet of fun under one roof. Dance the night away on the enormous dance floor, relax in the side lounge or belly up to more than a half-dozen different bar stations. There are live shows, dance lessons and much more each week. 

CHILL KID. Sometimes you just want a relaxed night out with your friends. Enter JR’s and Eagle. JR’s has been a staple in Houston’s gay scene for decades, helping form the bedrock of Montrose nightlife. Here you’ll find folks from all over gathered around the numerous bar tops and on the patio from happy hour into the wee hours. Meanwhile, just a couple blocks away is The Eagle Houston, where leather meets neighborhood watering hole. The patio and upstairs deck are fantastic hangout spots in good weather. 

TOTAL DIVA. F Bar isn’t just a cool hang out, it’s also a hub for great shows. Every Tuesday is F Divas, a fabulous show of great drag acts. 

TOUGH GUY. With its darkened ambiance and heavy beat, Montrose Mining Co.offers club-goers yet another option just across the street from JRs and South Beach. This place has an edgier look and feel. So does The Ripcord, a Montrose staple just a few blocks away that offers a leather shop right inside the bar. Finally, check out The Eagle Houston, when they host one of their regular theme nights.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

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Gay Love Advice: Is Chatting Online Cheating?

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Reader’s Question: 

My boyfriend and I have been in a monogamous relationship together for three years. Recently, I visited a gay dating website and created a profile. I’ve chatted and exchanged pics with guys but have never hooked up with anyone. My profile says “In a relationship” and I specifically say I’m just looking for friends. Last week, my boyfriend went snooping on my laptop, even though it was well hidden, and read some of my conversations. Now he’s pissed and says being on dating sites is “cheating.” I say it’s just fantasy. Who’s right, and who’s wrong? Is chatting online cheating?

― Anthony S.L., 27, New York City

 

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Who’s right? Who’s wrong? You are. He is. It all depends. For some people in committed relationships, gay apps and dating websites are harmless fun. For others it indicates that the unwritten or explicit rules of their relationship need to be revisited. Secrets can damage relationships just as profoundly as actions. I don’t know why you felt the need to keep it hidden, but my guess is that it’s because you knew he wouldn’t approve.

Forget about questioning who’s right and who’s wrong in this situation. Instead, sit down with your man and have an authentic tête-à-tête about the real reason you’re chatting with total strangers. Maybe you feel that your love life has gotten a little stale after three years together, and it makes you feel desirable again. Maybe you’re a hopeless flirt. Maybe you really are just looking for friends. Whatever the reasons are, be open and honest about them, and work toward building his trust back. If he asks you to get off the dating site altogether, decide whether that’s something you’re willing to give up in order to keep him.

Then again, maybe he’s upset because you didn’t invite him to the party. Offer to help him create his own profile so that you can send your dirty dick pics to him rather than to that headless torsos. Better yet, create a profile for the both of you together. You know what they say: Two’s a party, and three’s just a hell of a lot more fun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com

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Gay Dating and the Impact of Social Media

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There are no qualms about it…we live in a digital world now where technology is king and information and immediate gratification is readily available with the click of a button.

 

It’s even impacted our dating and sex lives.

In a matter of seconds, you can pull up a slew of pornographic images to what your sexual appetite or peruse a gay dating site to scan for potential matches with your cell phone or laptop when you’re on a break from work or traveling home on a subway. It’s that easy now!

But with this quick accessibility and push-button mentality, does it really serve the needs and ultimate prognosis for those single gay men who are seeking a soul mate for a long-term partnership?

Can you find love on Facebook? Is GayDatingSolutions.com and all those other dating sites the answer?

Let’s do an examination of the pros and cons of using social media in your dating efforts to see how it shapes up.

 

The pros of social media as a dating platform:

In a busy, hectic society when we have little time available to go out socially, if we live in a rural area with lack of access to a visible gay community and find it difficult to decipher who’s gay versus straight when out on the town, social media makes for a great leveraging tool to meet other single gay men.

While we are a lot more “out” and visible than ever before, social media has expanded opportunities for us to meet other men in a way we have never been able to before and has increased the odds of connecting with our single gay cohorts.

Social media has made it possible to get to know someone before actually meeting in person, allowing us to screen for compatibility and saving us time and energy in the process.

As long as this process isn’t too extended, this is a great time management asset.

It’s also a great way to break the ice and can be a good resource for shy guys to practice their social skills.

And let’s face it, it’s titillating! It’s another forum for flirting, confidence-building and revving up the excitement and anticipation of meeting.

But there’s also an inherent risk to this if you’re not careful, as you’ll soon see below.

“Avoid becoming dependent

on one particular dating platform.”

 

The cons:

Social media is more impersonal and less threatening than face-to-face interactions, therefore it makes one more susceptible to saying or doing things he might not in person and could sabotage a potentially good thing.

Social media has the tendency to accelerate the dating process (or cause it to come to a crashing halt!) if one isn’t cautious.

Because we haven’t met the guy in person to really see his true self, we can begin to build up a fantasy of him in our heads of what we’d like him to be.

Then one or two scenarios can happen:

One, once you meet him in person and the fantasy doesn’t match the reality, all the hopes of a match come crashing down and makes for a very awkward encounter.

Secondly, the fantasy can create an erotic charge that prematurely speeds up the relationship process.

Pacing rituals and the courtship process get thwarted because the connection can get sexualized and boundaries are more likely to get compromised.

What could’ve had a promising future results in a mere hookup situation because a foundation for a relationship didn’t have the chance to properly be established before introducing sex into the equation.

That’s why a great majority of the gay social networking sites are so sexualized. These businesses have capitalized on the fantasy aspect and are raking in millions of dollars because of their recognition of this vulnerability.

And research has shown social media has increased the opportunity and incidence of cheating and affairs for those already in relationships.

Social media can also make communication difficult. The written word in texts or chats can easily be misinterpreted and a lot of erroneous assumptions could be made that might sabotage something from getting off the ground.

Like attorney’s say, “Anything you say in writing can and will be used against you in court.”

Technology can be so easy and addicting that we might be more impulsive and reckless in what we say than we ordinarily would.

 

So what’s your stance?

Ultimately, you will have to make a personal decision about the role you want social media to play in your dating life after contemplating these (and other) pros and cons.

We are positioning ourselves for loss of human connection and social skill adequacy by relying on technology for our socialization if we’re not careful.

However, by exercising boundaries and good judgment, social media could actually enhance our lives and dating opportunities if used in the right way.

You’ll want to do your due diligence when researching various social networking sites to ensure they market to love and friendship instead of a sexual hookup-based aim if finding a long-term relationship is your modus operandi.

And in the dating world, it will be important to avoid becoming dependent on one particular dating platform to meet your needs. Spread yourself around to a variety of different venues so you have more reach, visibility and opportunities.

What has your experience been like with social media and dating? What are some of your favorite platforms that are truly relationship-minded?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you found the right one, or are you still searching?

Join a gay dating site where you can meet single guys from any town or city. Rely instead on Gay Dating Solutions to do the work for you!

Don’t get fooled by FREE offers made by other sites. Gay Dating Solutions is offering a free 6 month promotion ABSOLUTELY no strings, request for credit card numbers, etc…it is the only site that is truly free to join!

Sign-up now: www.gaydatingsolutions.com

Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/GayDating101

Tweet us: twitter.com/GayDating101